I got my letter through this morning for a repeat vein-mapping scan on the 17th April.  I must admit the thought of it makes me feel really anxious, I like to think I don’t worry but the thought of having to go through the whole fistula thing again is making me nervous.   The vein-mapping is the ultrasound where they look at the veins and arteries to see where they might put a fistula.  Options are narrowing and I don’t know whether they will attempt to untie the one in my right arm. 

My left arm is still very painful when doing things, it’s not actually the scar that’s hurting it’s my lower arm, it’s very swollen and almost feels like it’s burning. 

People will probably read this and think well you’ve had a transplant what’s the big deal.  The transplant was a means to an end, a good end and I knew that things would get better.  Having another fistula is a means to an end but a very different end, dialysis.  The means to an uncertain end and the unknown length of time that I will be on dialysis and waiting for my kidney transplant. 

The thought of having another one when I’m still in pain with this one is scary, what if I’m under for a long time again and the anesthetic makes me feel ill again, what if it doesn’t work, then what.

This blog probably doesn’t make sense  but it helps me to ramble on. 

Day 7 of fistula healing… 




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