The world gained another angel yesterday. I didn’t have the privilege of knowing her but it rocked the transplant/cystic fibrosis community as does every passing of a young soul. She was only 18months post transplant.
When we lose someone else from this tight knit community it reminds us of how fragile life is and those who have gone before, in my case Jess, Rachy and more recently Emily T. I still find it hard to believe this world no longer has Emily in it, she’s never going to comment on my Facebook again, text or ring me. I still think she is a train ride away and she is never far from my thoughts day to day.
Emily supported me with everything, she helped me through losing Jess and Rachy. Losing friends like this makes me feel like I don’t ever want to get close to people in the transplant community again, my heart can’t take anymore, but who is that fair to? Why should I miss out on amazing friendships, why should I cut people off when they are the people that need support, and they are in the best position to support me? Emily would tell me to pull myself together and do what I need to do.
I like to think I am approachable and I like to think I can offer support to people in the same boat as me. I tried to do this through my blog but upset people along the way, in fact I was supporting myself by writing them and so I think the time is right to come back. If people don’t like what I write, they don’t have to read it.
After all Emily T’s blog was the first one I ever read, she convinced me to write one myself. I need this blog. I need to do this for Emily, but more importantly I need to do this for me.
I’m back… Hopefully for good.