Losing control…

Don’t worry I’ve not completely lost the plot, well not yet anyway. 

I’ve spoke about symptoms of kidney failure before but one that I didn’t really focus on was behavioural changes that can happen when you have kidney failure.  It’s not explored that often as it’s not a physical dibilitating part of the disease but it is as present as the physical changes that take place.

Behavioral changes can include irritability, A would say yes to this one. I don’t think I’m overly irritable but I do get stressed out and my patience has lessened in recent months.  I don’t get angry or ask “why me” but I wish things were different in the fact that me and A could have a normal relationship, that didn’t revolve around hospitals, tablets and symptoms. 

Another behavioural symptom that is caused by the build up of toxins in the blood is confusion and lack of concentration.  I have had to defer a couple of Uni assignments as I struggle to take in lots of information and struggle to sit in front of a laptop and type for long periods of time. 

Memory loss is also a nightmare side effect that is getting me at the minute. Recently I lost my student card and found it in the fridge.  A week down the line I still can’t find the remote control for the TV in our bedroom! I have looked everyday for a week and it’s really beginning to stress me out! I’m going to have to give in and buy a new one.  

Sleeping.  I am suffering with extreme exhaustion and fatigue.  Not a day goes by where I don’t have to have a nap.  If I have managed to leave the house I am often looking for benches or the shoe department to sit down in when I am out.  We live in a top floor flat, 52 stairs up.  Everytime I climb those stairs (at a very slow pace) I have to have a sit on the bed as soon as I get in to catch my breath.  Although I am constantly tired I never get a good nights sleep.  I might fall asleep quickly but I will always wake up, multiple times and often for extended periods of time during the night. 

I don’t want this to be a poor me blog, just an insight into daily life and the behavioural effects that living with kidney failure can cause.   

Although this website here is from New Zealand it explains living with kidney failure down to a tee. 

So although I haven’t lost control… I’ve lost the remote control! 

If found please return to me:  



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