Can’t buy me love…

So it’s nearly 1am and I’m struggling to sleep… This is a regular occurrence these days.  It’s probably a culmination of things, medication, aches and pains in my body due to build up of toxins and possible worrying (I don’t feel worried or stressed at the minute but I am aware that I may be subconsciously.)  

I have a few good days but it’s frustrating that reality is only a minute away and slaps you round the face like a wet kipper.  Whilst I am on countdown to my holiday this also happens to be the day that my Statutory Sick Pay will go down to Zero, that’s right Zilch, nothing, I won’t have a pennys income to call my own. 

As well as my health being taken away from me I also have this to contend with.  An extra battle that I shouldn’t have to fight when I feel like I’ve got no fight left.  Thankfully my parents have been supporting me, without whom I would not be able to keep my apartment, put food on the table or afford to go on holiday.  I really do appreciate all that they do.  

 Thankfully I will be entitled to ESA, but again this will be no easy feat and I will have to prove beyond doubt that I am not able to work, providing sick notes and evidence, filling in a form which is more like a book and having a face to face interview and health check.  All for the grand total of £73.10 a week, which is meant to cover my mortgage, bills and feed me.  

I will also be doing my best to apply for PIP again this is a booklet of complex health questions, providing evidence, letters, results and prescription lists.   

Answering all these questions really does hit home how much my health has deteriorated in the last year.  It Points out things I can no longer do and what my condition has stripped me of.  My job, my income, my freedom, my independence and my confidence.
Money isn’t everything.  Without the love and support of my family and A I would be stripped of a lot more.  I will get all the other bits of me back one day.  Money can’t buy me love and I have that in abundance, it’s all I need. 


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